LISTERINE POCKETPAKS

LISTERINE.COM, $1.69

"Unlike their liquid counterpart these strips are alcohol-free, which is good--alcohol dries your tongue, leading to even more bad breath, They easily took care of my morning breath without the aid of a toothbrush." ++++

--Alex

BLACK TEA

"In our last issue, we recommended swishing with tea to squelch stankonia. I gave it a go. It worked, I think--my breath smelled like tea, which is better than the onions I'd just eaten. But I'd hate to have stained teeth just because I was too cheap to buy a mint." ++

--Jake

ECLIPSE POLAR ICE SUGAR-FREE GUM

WRIGLEY.COM, $1

"It covered up the garlic knots I'd just eaten, no problem. My only complaint is the size of the pieces: They're kind of small. I felt like I needed at least two to get a proper chew," +++

--Tim

PEPPERMINT ALTOIDS

ALTOIDS.COM, $2

"Curiously strong? Damn right! These little peppermint grenades are one part breath freshener, two parts dare. I managed to get six in my mouth before my stomach turned--the only mints worth toting a tin for." +++++

--Adam

THERABREATH RINSE

THERABREATH.COM, $10

"They recommend a tongue-scraping before use. Obviously, that's not happening, even though they give you the scraper. Also, it looks so medical, my girlfriend got nervous when I bought it. But my doctor says, for really bad cases, this is the only stuff to use since it kills odor-building bacteria without alcohol." ++++

--Ryan

THE RATINGS

+++++ Awesome. Because of your breath, people will gather around your face and relish in the freshness.

++++ Good. The mouth's sweet aroma will attract far more women than it ever repelled in the past.

+++ Nice. Your maw is now odorless, but by no means offensive or off.

++ Decent. Passable even, but far from ideal. Something like your Grandpa's breath.

+ Foul. Time to run a clipper over your tongue. Steer clear of other living organisms.

COPYRIGHT 2004 Weider Publications
COPYRIGHT 2004 Gale Group